No promises on changing that.
Still, the 99th page blog fest - hosted by Erinn, Alicia, Holly, Pam, and Quita - is a pretty cool thing.
Here's the rundown.
I post the 99th page of a work in progress. The reader (that's you, assuming you don't hit the "back" button now) decides the following after reading:
1. Would you turn to page 100?
2. Why or why not?
3. Based on what you read, how likely would you buy the book?
It was kind of fun to see what was on my 99th page. This is the first time I've opened this document since November.
“Oh?”
“I grew up in one,” was all Kat felt like saying.“I see. Well, it’s best you don’t spend any time there, Katherine. I’ll be back in a few days, either to pick you up or to bring more food.”“You think it might be that bad?”“I don’t know.” Mrs. Finch maneuvered the van over a bumpy stretch of road and turned left. Before Kat was ready, the van came to a stop. “Here we are.”The two women got out of the van and stared at the vacation spot. It was a small cabin with a wrap-around porch. The house backed against a lake. The water was steel-gray against the sky, bordered by trees wilting and growing brown with fall. Kat thought she saw a few other cabins scattered around the lake, but all were dark and the area seemed largely undeveloped.She shivered in her jacket. The air was much colder here than it had been in the city. She realized too late that Mrs. Finch had been talking.“…here all the time when I was a girl. My daughter loved it, too.”“I didn’t know you have a daughter,” Kat said. Mrs. Finch had never once mentioned family before, and always seemed to travel on the holidays.
I look forward to hearing what you have to say! Don't forget to give the other blog-fest-entries a look, there's some fabulous writing out there.
ooohh very cool, I love that there's so much mystery to this page. Why are they going to the cabin. Why didn't Mrs. Finch tell Kat about her daughter? And why wasn't Kat ready when the van came to a stop.
ReplyDeleteAwesome I can't wait to read it
Thanks for joining in the fun
I'm with Erinn. I'm intrigued about why she's going to be left at the cabin alone. I'd keep reading. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm with Erinn and Holly. I would definitely read on to page 100 because I want to know what's happening, why she's there, etc, etc. The writing's tight too which always helps. I'd say that I'd probably purchase.
ReplyDeleteI do love a cabin by a lake. So much potential. I would turn the page. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI definitely want to know why she's being dropped in the middle of nowhere.
ReplyDeleteThe paragraph that starts - "The two woman...
end this at "brown with fall." and put the rest with the next paragraph.
Also, if you're going to use "didn't" then you should say "had a daughter."
I'd keep reading.
I'd definitely turn the page. I'd also like to now rent a cabin on a lake and chill out there by myself for a few days...but I have a terrible feeling it would turn into a Stephen King novel pretty quickly and I'm no good with rabid dogs or sea monsters...
ReplyDeleteIntriguing, Mo!
This is so good. You build up the setting really nicely and I'd certainly want to read on (and read what came before!) :D
ReplyDeleteshabby cabin by the lake is such a great setting. I would turn the page. You've built a lot of tension into this page. I don't know why, but I have the feeling some mysteries will be unfolding soon. I like it.
ReplyDeleteI"m intrigued. I want to know why Kat didn't know where they were going. I want to know about the daughter and is she going to be there alone. It is very mysterious to me. Nice job. I'd keep reading.
ReplyDeleteI'm intrigued!
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed your blogfest entry!
Very intriguing. This feels like one of those moments that's a breather, but still tense at the same time. I want to know why she's being dropped off, why she's isolated, about the daughter, all sorts of things happening in this single page. I'd read more ^_^
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteAh, now why do I get the feeling this is going to turn into a nightmare situation? It kind of makes the hairs on the back of neck stand proud!
Great suspense and element of mystery. Nicely done. ;)
best
F
The first paragraphs were interesting enough to maybe catch my attention but it waned a little once the car stopped. I'm not sure on what type of story this is, so whether I read or buy depends in part on that. There is something hinted here that could hold my attention; just depends on what that is.
ReplyDeleteWithout knowing anything, I like where this is going! Just the right amount of creepiness to make me wonder what happened to lead up to her being left alone and what will happen now that she is. Good job!
ReplyDeleteerica
The page is well enough written that I'd want to read more and get to more action. (Not that there's a lack of anything here.)
ReplyDeleteThis probably read smoothly when in context, but I do feel like a stranger in this story and don't have enough invested to keep reading. I debated on whether or not to say that, but you asked. That said, it is well written, her deep perspective and thought process tells us a lot about her character.
ReplyDeleteThis page is intriguing. I wonder why they are at the lake house and what the relationship is between the two characters...I would read on to find out what's going to happen with these two women here b/c I'm sure there's going to be something!
ReplyDeleteBTW- you have a beautiful style of writing :)
Is Mrs. Finch a baddie? Will she strand Kat (heya, we have common main character names. Awesome!)? I'd read on.
ReplyDeleteMarie, http://marierearden.blogspot.com
I love how dialogue just seems to take over this page--I'm a big fan of dialogue. :) I even like the method where we come into the middle of Mrs. Finch's conversation--it's nice to get lost in Kat's head. Sure I'd keep reading. Great job!
ReplyDeleteGreat intrigue and mystery here, and a slightly spooky feel without being overdone or macabre. The elements work together so well to gradually set you on edge. Nice.
ReplyDeleteI like Kat's character-- unwilling to say more, quiet. I wonder the circumstances that brought her to this place/ The lake is very real-- I can just see it. I'd keep going.
ReplyDeleteThis definitely gives a feeling of impending doom--waiting for the axe murderer to show up or the plague to hit the outside world (read The Passage not too long ago, so it's stuck in my head).
ReplyDeleteI would keep reading. I want to know what happens next and what happened before--what could be so bad that Kat may have to stay in this remote place with only Mrs. Finch as a lifeline.
I really like that she wasn't listening to what the woman was saying...that made the scene seem real.
ReplyDeleteI love the description. And Mrs. Finch traveling always traveling on holidays in intriguing.
ReplyDeleteNice details. The description by the lake was well written.
ReplyDeleteI'd turn the page.
Michael
There seems to be some sort of secret about Mrs. Finch's daughter! I would turn the page because I'd love to find out! Also, thanks for commenting on my page 99! :)
ReplyDelete